Thoughts...

I ponder a lot. I think about almost everything. Meaning. Purpose. Those are things I am pondering today. I know I have a purpose! But today, I feel I have failed in fulfilling that. Now I am trying to see what, how, where? It burdens my heart so much when I know I wasted a day. I get so depressed, knowing that I wasted one day in my limited life. But I try not to beat myself up, but dig deeper and fulfill myself in Christ. You see, sometimes I try to fulfill my life with material things. TV and the Internet are big time-fillers. I did nothing today. I accomplished nothing, and I feel unused. I want to feel used: by God.

I was not made for this world, I was made for Christ, so the things of this world do not fulfill me. But I can be satisfied in the deep love of Christ, who paid for today's mistakes and tomorrows sins. He knew, He knows. He loves me anyway. He knows the mistakes I'm going to make in the future and he knows the things I will learn from this experience.

God sometimes puts these things in our lives to bring us closer to Him.

James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Romans 5:2
And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Maybe we don't feel it in the moment, but we know these trails come in His perfect timing. I will not know the purpose of them until He reveals it, and that will be in His perfect timing. And I trust Him. Because He is perfect and True, Righteous and Holy, and His love is unfailing.
To God alone be the glory.